I’m Not a Big Boy

Jaybird usually revels in being a self-proclaimed “big boy” but these past few days he seems like he needs space from it. It’s mostly about potty. He’s become more resistant and weepy about it, between accidents and successes alike. He tugs on my heart strings with his in-betweenness, his desire to be like a baby and his desire to be grown up. He said to me the other day: “I’m not a big boy!”

I’m waiting outside his school as I type this. It’s a wonderful place but I wonder if the pressure of being the youngest in a group that includes 5 year-olds is getting to him. Sometimes I think his lead teacher expects more independence of him than is developmentally appropriate. She was pretty frustrated the other day about a poop accident — verbally, to me, in front of all other kids and parents. We’re torn between frustration when it seems like he just doesn’t care, and wanting to protect him and give him space.

We tried to implement a star chart and he had an accident on day one. Burst into tears. Oh, man.

Anyway, sweet bub. I’m going to give him extra cuddles today.

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3 thoughts on “I’m Not a Big Boy

  1. Aww. I don’t know anything about child development, but it makes perfect sense to me that when growing we have “big person” days and “I just can’t do it” days. That never ends! Keep on keepin’ on, Jaybird!

  2. Poor sweetie. đŸ˜¦ Juju had a rough patch of accidents a few weeks ago at daycare. Our daycare provider was super awesome about it and so kind to Juju but was ready to put her in pullups after 4 days in a row of accidents, and for good reason too. We gave her lots of love and snuggles, and talked a lot about what was coming up each day and what we expected. And we also took her pretty Christmas dress away for a day. I know you’re not so much with the punitive, but all of that worked as a whole and she was fine by the next week. I hope the same will be true for Jaybird. Good luck! It’s a hard gig, being a parent.

    1. Thanks! Yeah, we’re torn about how to deal with it. Tried the less reminding, “it’s your job” approach and he just freely peed his pants, saying, “I’ll never ever have to go!” Tried rewards. Tried the timer and reminders, which works best but I think had resulted in push-back power struggle (sometimes). It’s weird b/c some days he’s fine and even initiates well on his own. We’ve talked a lot about it with him. His natural consequences punishment now is that he can’t go on our bed (which he loves) b/c we don’t know if he’ll pee. I’m tempted to either throw in the towel and revert to pull-ups for a while or up the ante on the consequence. Like no videos (his fave thing).

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